Three weeks ago, the girlfriend and I enjoyed our first weekend together and spent most of it playing board games. We ended up getting through nine games in those two days.
This weekend just gone I arrived earlier on the Saturday and left later on the Sunday. We managed twelve games this time; six on each day.
And as I predicted in my last ‘Me vs The Girlfriend’ battle report, she did not go easy on me.
DAY ONE
SUSHI ROLL (2019)
My girlfriend’s mum joined us for a handful of games over this weekend, and the first one she took a stab at was SUSHI ROLL.
This cute looking Dice drafting game looks like there isn’t much to it tactically, but the swap tokens had all three of us constantly eyeing up the other players conveyor belts. After any dice with the highest amount of puddings were spotted, it was all about the play order, and you knew if you were last in the turn order you could say bye-bye to the pink dice, and bye-bye to those juicy bonus points at the end of the game.
Despite commanding the market in Maki Rolls, and not throwing my swap and reroll tokens into the ring too often, I took a hit with the Pudding penalty at the end of the game and fell into last place. Girlfriend came out on top this time.
ME: 0
GF: 1
PANDEMIC (2008)
Next game on the list was my opportunity to show my competitors the joys of teamwork in their first co-op experience.
And what better game to bring to the table during these troubling times than the king of co-op; PANDEMIC. While we were helpless to fix the real world, we could damn sure do everything in our power to make sure the fictional one pulled through okay.
Set up and a brief rules run through out the way, and the three of us were ready to go. I was up as the Medic, looking to use my ability to clear all cubes from a city to good effect. The girlfriend was the Operations Expert, allowing her to build a research station more conveniently as well as travel from research centres with ease. And my girlfriend’s mum was our Dispatcher, allowing her to move us as if her own pawn, which would allow us to get places out of turn.
With our team set up and briefed, we headed out into the world.
I always find the first few turns in PANDEMIC a bit weird. Everyone is tentative and the world is pretty quiet. I also find that new players can get lulled into a false sense of security when that first disease gets cured, which in most of the games I’ve played, is pretty early on.
But then that first Epidemic card is flipped and it all starts going horribly wrong. You find that you’re too relaxed and are maybe a little to spread out and you forgot to make a plan for who’s collecting what colour and suddenly the Middle East is seeing one outbreak after the other and Moscow is spawning disease cubes like they’re going out of fashion.
But we pulled together, we used our special abilities to maximum effect, knocked the final three diseases on the head, and managed to eradicate the red disease on the way.
A great team effort and joint win.
My girlfriend’s mum left us at this point and the rest of day one would continue as 1vs1. My girlfriend was about to show me what happens when you disrespect your host by beating them like I did the last time I stayed over.
ME: 1
GF: 2
MUFFIN TIME (2020) KS
I backed MUFFIN TIME on Kickstarter last year and it finally turned up a few weeks ago. The girlfriend thought it looked so funny she made me promise that it was one of the games I brought over.
It’s super quick to set up and teach so we were off in no time.
It has an EXPLODING KITTENS vibe to it with a bunch of cards used to attack other players or protect yourself. The aim is to get 10 cards and still have 10 by your next turn.
You have three types of cards in play; Blue are Action cards used to make things happen, either to yourself or other players. Green are Counter cards, and are more intricate versions of the infamous Nope card. And then there are the Red cards, the Trap cards, the evil little buggers that can be your best friend or your worst enemy.
You can choose to lay a trap card during your go, where you will proceed to place it face down in front of you and then wait for another player to spring it. Some traps are simple like punishing a player for trying to steal your cards. But others are just plain crazy. From catching a player checking the time, to tricking a player into repeating what you just said. You almost can’t move in case you set something off.
I laid a trap that I was sure my girlfriend would spring and was more than disappointed that she didn’t. She randomly sings quite a bit, so when I found myself in possession of a Trap card that would force her to discard cards if she did so, I knew I only had to wait for a moment or two before I could point to her and shout TRAP! And you know what? MUFFIN TIME was probably the only game of the weekend where she didn’t sing a single word.
And when she played a card that allowed her to win on eight cards instead of ten, at a time where I had the world’s most useless hand of cards, well she claimed her first MUFFIN TIME victory, and continued to show me that I should not have underestimated her.
I enjoyed the game more than I thought I had. With some Kickstarters, I find that I lose the enthusiasm I had during the campaign, and this was one such game. And while 2 players makes it brief and easier to win, as you only have to hold 10 cards past one other player, I can see four players or more being a lot of fun.
ME: 1
GF: 3
DUELOSAUR ISLAND (2018)
Another 2-player only game I added to our collection for the girlfriend and I, DUELOSAUR ISLAND was a slog, but revealed a pretty fun game by the end.
A 2-player drafting spin-off from DINOSAUR ISLAND, the much larger multiplayer worker placement version, DUELOSAUR ISLAND is a head-to-head game of building the more exciting park while keeping your guests safe.
Each player has a security level that they are trying to keep above a threat level, a whole bunch of DNA, and a handful of cards that can either be used for their dinosaurs (top half), or their attractions (bottom half).
We struggled for the first half of the game and went quite slow, referring to the manual completely as our trusted guide. But eventually, once all the terminology sank in, and the balance between drawing the crowds but keeping them safe found us, we really started to find our tactics.
Unfortunately, my girlfriend struck gold early on with the HR manager card, which gave her a fantastic Specialist ability. And she also had a Food stand up and running several rounds before me, so had a much better income from the off. Couple this with her much better selection of Dinosaurs and I was lucky to end the game only 5 visitors behind her.
Though at the end of the day it was the visitors themselves who were the real winners, as despite two park managers still learning the ropes, we didn’t lose a single human life to a dinosaur mishap.
ME: 1
GF: 4
STAR REALMS (2014)
After struggling to learn and teach the last game, I wanted to play something a little more relaxing. Despite losing during the last weekend visit, I was itching to have another go at STAR REALMS. A quick refresh of the rules and we were both ready to go.
Last time round the girlfriend scored a great purchase with The Needle, a ship which mimics another ship you play. She paired it with a Blob ship that hit hard and I took a crazy amount of damage in just two rounds.
So, when The Needle showed up and I had the coin, I didn’t hesitate. And I also had some Blob ships in my fleet, so I thought luck had smiled upon me.
Unfortunately, two things happened that meant I would still not get my first STAR REALMS victory. First the girlfriend brought a ship with 4 healing that kept her afloat and slowed the momentum I’d found in my first few attacks. And second was that I forgot about a base I had built and wasn’t using its own heal ability.
Once again, she played a good combo two hands in a row and destroyed me while I still had hope. I was a little shaken, but I still think I have what it takes to beat her at this one day.
Maybe.
ME: 1
GF: 5
HIVE POCKET (2010)
After dinner we decided to squeeze one more game in before we settled down for a movie. That game was HIVE POCKET, a game that we’d already played together, that I already beat her at, and that I was good at.
I thought she was being sweet by throwing me a bone. Oh, how wrong I was.
The first game went as I expected. We danced around for a little bit and every now and then she’d see that I was closing in and just pull her Bee out the way. This only prolonged her demise and after ten or fifteen minutes of calculated play from us both, it ended in my victory.
I perked up a little. There was a little light at the end of the day. I would claim my first solo victory of the weekend.
But something changed in the second game. She moved quicker, and with more purpose. Before I knew it, my Bee was trapped, and I could see that even if I went on a full attack, she would surround my Bee a move before I could do the same to her. Which is exactly what happened. And to make it worse, that second game lasted 2 minutes.
As did the next one which she won. And the one after that.
It looked like the day, July 18th, would live on in infamy, remembered as the day the girlfriend claimed a clean sweep.
But from nowhere I pulled a game back. Despite my motivation being knocked into the next year, I was suddenly one game from drawing level. It had taken everything to find victory in that last game. Surely she would learn her mistake, assimilate it, and punish me for it next time? What was the point? And then the girlfriend asked me how many times more I needed to play HIVE to add it to my 10×10 challenge on BGStats.
I looked. I was on 9 plays. So, I carried on. And I won. And after that I was mentally exhausted.
We called it a draw then. And I truly look forward to playing again with her. We’ve enjoyed a lot of DRAUGHTS together, and this game scratches that same itch, but without the need for a board.
I have found my HIVE equal.
ME: 1
GF: 5
DAY TWO
SHERIFF OF NOTTINGHAM 2nd Edition (2020)
I’ve not had much luck bringing bluffing games to any of my gaming groups. It can be a tough sell, and a lot of people don’t enjoy the thought of being tricked and deceived, and others find they can’t keep a straight face while lying.
I’ve played a couple of games of COUP and two plays of COCKROACH POKER. I’ve enjoyed them both and find that I have a particular knack at making other players think that I’m lying when I’m not.
When the girlfriend suggested bringing her 2nd Edition copy of SHERIFF OF NOTTINGHAM to the table, I figured it would be a fun way to start day two. Her mum joined us and we prepared to abuse any trust we thought we had in each other.
And what a fun and easy game it is to play. Like all bluffing games, it’s about testing the water, making your friends think you’re lying when you’re telling the truth and then switching the other way and making it count by chucking a lot of contraband into your bag and calling it apples.
Each player takes turns playing as the Sheriff and the others must get legal goods (and not so legal goods) into Nottingham, sometimes with a little bribe to grease the wheels of trade.
It’s great fun to watch players make mistakes like hesitating when asked what’s in the bag for the hundredth time, or take a massive gamble and get a cart full of contraband through in one turn.
My favourite moment came when I was Sheriff. After several turns where I had self-crowned myself the Apple King (which I ended up being in both the games we played), the girlfriend made a big song and dance of how the apples clearly hadn’t been shuffled in well. Then she slid her red bag towards me and declared “one Apple”. I missed it to start with and was weighing up the pattern of deceit that both my girlfriend and her mum had travelled so far. I called her mum a liar and discovered contraband in her bag. I took the penalty and then I locked eyes with the girlfriend. I asked her repeatedly in different ways how many apples she had, each time hoping she would trip up, but she didn’t. I figured it was gonna have to be a mental coin flip to decide what I would do with the bag. She laughed at me, dared me to open it. I feared the penalty trap that lay in wait. Would I have to pay her all my remaining coin?
And then I played back her boastful declaration of apples in her hand, and wondered why she only put one in the bag. I said this to her, and for just a moment, a micro expression of doubt on her face filled me with confidence. So, I called her on it.
Contraband was found in that bag of hers. And it was she that ended up paying me.
And that’s the fun of the game. The bluffs and double bluffs. Everyone is trying to fool everyone else. It was probably the most fun game we played all weekend as we turned on each other like real rivals, feigning hurt when called a liar only to slink away in shame when our ruse was discovered.
And on the plus side, though not something I was proud of being proclaimed in front of my girlfriend and her mother, I was so good at lying, that I won both games with a pretty decent score to boot.
ME: 2
GF: 5
JAIPUR 2nd Edition (2019)
The rest of the Sunday was just the two of us, so we dug into our recently increased 2-player only subcollection and decided to give JAIPUR a go.
I really enjoyed this. It was quick to learn and quick to set up. A game of trading different commodities in a shared market, JAIPUR has each player trying to sell the most Diamonds, Gold, Silver, Spices, Silk, and if you really have nothing else, Leather.
And of course, Camels.
The twist here comes in the scoring. Each time you sell goods, you take scoring tokens that reduce in points the lower down the stack they go. So, sell early with just a few cards and get a small amount of tokens with high points. Or hold on for more cards to sell in one hit and get more tokens but it might only be low points left.
And that not forgetting the random score tokens you get for selling three, four, or five of one type of goods. And again, there are the camels to consider.
It’s a real risk reward; trying to guess the best time to sell while the price of goods is high and not getting left behind with only the low scoring tokens.
Or as I found, knowing that your girlfriend is going to grab the card you need every time it turns up in the market after you’ve had your go and then taken all the high point tokens.
How does she do it?
ME: 2
GF: 6
SKULK HOLLOW (2019)
Based on the artwork and the asymmetry alone, I’ve been wanting to play SKULK HOLLOW since I first became aware of its existence last year. But a 2-player game with no player 2 is not a wise investment. So, I never played it.
And then my girlfriend dropped into my life and one day asked what good 2-player games she could get and was this one called SKULK HOLLOW any good.
Which meant on Sunday I finally got to play it and it was good.
A beautiful looking game, SKULK HOLLOW sees one player as the brave Foxen heroes, a bunch of mighty warriors trying their best to defend their land. Meanwhile the other player (in this case me) is playing as a single character versus many, but there is the small bonus of having size on its side.
I was playing as Grak, a gigantic bear made of rock who was very pissed off at the Foxes who seemed to think they were in charge.
Now asymmetry isn‘t the best thing in a game when you’re trying to teach someone, especially if you also haven’t actually played the game in question, which is what happened with us. But luckily for me, the girlfriend is experienced enough in games, and smart enough in general, that she works things out with me as we go along, and it wasn’t long before we had it up and running, even if finding our tactics was a little way off.
Her mission was to take me down by getting the foxes to leap on me and attack my legs, my arms and my head. My path to victory was either killing eight of her Foxen soldiers, or killing her pesky King Fox.
And so it went. She got Foxes on my monster who chipped away with swords and arrows, while I’d throw them to the ground and swing my club at them.
She learnt early on to not send single health point fodder my way as I took an early lead, and then she turned to attack and proceeded to get a few critical hits in, forcing me to heal when I just wanted to cause more damage to her army.
And it really came down to the wire. I had to kill two more foxen, and only had one heart left. I got lucky with Grak’s special ability to take a third action if damage was nine or higher. Which it was. Her King was already wounded and I didn’t have a way to deal that finally blow. But I spent an action to gain two new cards, healed my Gaze, and then took the noble bastard out with Swing.
We both saw the potential in the game and I’m eager for a rematch, a try of the other side, and getting the other monsters to the board
ME: 3
GF: 6
EPIC SPELL WARS OF THE BATTLE WIZARDS (2012)
As per the previous day, the girlfriend offered an olive branch to redeem myself and let me pick the next game. The selection I’d stuffed in my bag was running out, but a last minute entry I’d chucked in on the Friday night might just be the game I needed to turn things around.
EPIC SPELL WARS is not for everyone. It’s crazy artwork and vulgar humour is maybe not for the classier gamer. But if you’re someone who prefers the NSFW versions of games, and getting a group of friends to turn on each other as health point markers are sent spiralling to zero, this is a game you’ll probably enjoy.
There are, I think, four EPIC SPELL WARS games in the series now, not including the deck builder spin off (currently sat in my Amazon wishlist). I only have the first so far, and it’s served me well on games nights.
A simple premise; players peruse the eight cards in their hands and form a spell of up to three parts, made from a beginning (Source), a middle (Quality), and an end (Delivery). The player with the highest initiative then reads out the ridiculous name of the spell across the three (or two, or one) cards and then sets out picking on fellow players with all manner of attacks.
And it worked. I fought bravely and was the last wizard standing, though I know that my girlfriend will learn from this battle and I won’t be so fortunate next time.
Though I will say that this was the second time I’ve played EPIC SPELL WARS as 2-player and it doesn’t quite pack the same punch as it does with a table full of players all deciding who to direct their spells at, round after round.
ME: 4
GF: 6
HANAMIKOJI (2013)
Already one of our favourites, and another from the 2-player only camp, HANAMIKOJI already looks like it’s going to get to the table often when the girlfriend and I have our gaming weekends together.
The rules themselves were easy to pick up the last time we played, but with this being our third game together, we were both starting to discover tactics under the simple rules and gorgeous art.
And nowhere did that show better than in my girlfriend’s final move.
She had already done a better job at gaining the attention of one more Geisha than I had in the first round. And things were looking pretty close towards the end of the second that it might have gone to a third.
But then I made a mistake, although I couldn’t have known it at the time. I already had a card on the 5 Geisha, and I played the number one token to save another 5 Geisha for the end of the round. Then the girlfriend played the number four token giving me the choice of two sets of pairs from her hand. Whatever I chose, she would get the remaining pair.
The previous games we’d played I wouldn’t have known I’d lost no matter which cards I chose. But at that moment, I scanned the Geisha’s and couldn’t see a way out. And then I looked at my girlfriend and saw that she knew that when she placed the cards down.
And despite losing, I loved that we both already saw the game under the beautiful hood that was the art, and next time was going to be even better.
ME: 4
GF: 7
MAG-BLAST 2nd Edition (2002)
And so we come back around to the game that we started with on our last visit. My girlfriends favourite game. And she’s really really good at it too.
We played two games, and I didn’t stand a chance both times. With all of her skill, coupled with my complete lack of luck when it game to drawing the cards I needed, I was a fresh out of the academy Fleet Commander experiencing real combat for the first time, while she was the grizzled veteran who didn’t even waste time playing with her prey. She destroyed me with precision and discipline.
It’ll be a long time before I can match her at this game, but I think it will be one we will be playing for a long time to come.
ME: 4
GF: 8
THE END
And that was it. An epic weekend of gaming and one I barely walked away with any honour intact. I reported back to my main gaming buddies and they basically said I would be demoted to player four of the group and she would be given player three status. Looks like I’m at the bottom of the pecking order in the group now.
I guess until next time, I better get practising and fill my games bag with games that play to my strengths.
Our tabletop rivalry has only just begun.
Always Play Blue 